


nobody said it was easy

by ginterwonderland



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-06 16:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4229010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginterwonderland/pseuds/ginterwonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik and Jonas haven't seen each other in a very long time, but there's a special day coming - Erik's birthday. Jonas wants to do anything to meet him and celebrate with him, though things don't quite go the way he planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "i thought i meant something to you"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [simpleandpure22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/simpleandpure22/gifts).



> hi, it's me again! *o*  
> so this is something that wouldn't leave me alone since April but I never really got the time to actually start it, even though I've been thinking about it all the damn time (not so helpful when you're supposed to focus on university, oops...).  
> dear simpleandpure22 - this one goes out to you, because you've been encouraging me to start writing something again for a long long time and kept telling me i should believe in myself more and at least try to start something new and see how it goes, so, here it is!  
> to anybody reading it - i'm incredibly sorry for all the mistakes i made, as you may know, English isn't my first language :)  
> and i'm also sorry for what's in it, i can't believe i wrote it that way, even though it's only the first chapter out of two. i hope it won't be that heartbreaking and that it's not too bad to read.  
> i appreciate your opinions so let me know what you think about this lame attempt at writing something!  
> LET'S PRETEND IT'S MAY AND IT'S ERIK'S BIRTHDAY OKAY.

It was a sunny day, the weather was much better than the past few days and it definitely made Jonas’ feel better. He was standing on the balcony of his apartment enjoying the shining sun and the smell of spring in the air. He’d just returned from his rehabilitation and felt like he was finally closer to actually playing football again. He was getting better, his knee was getting better, everything was on a good way.

Soon he’d finally be able to get back to the city and the club he loved the most – Dortmund. He never really wanted to leave in the first place, but eventually decided it would be good for him. It didn’t turn out quite the way he planned it, unfortunately. The injury ruled him out of the season for way too long and he’d spend most of his time in Mainz trying to recover. Neverthless he was still able to see something positive in all of this. Soon he’ll be back in Dortmund, fully healthy and ready to show the coach what he can do best.

There was also another thing Jonas was looking forward to. Seeing Erik. He left his best friend even though didn’t want to. But he had to, if he wanted to play more, and Erik understood. He wanted Jonas to be happy and get the time on the pitch he deserved. So no matter how hard it was, he let him go. He knew he’d return to Dortmund anyway, because that’s where he belongs.

After being separated for such a long time, Jonas has been counting down the days until they meet again. Sure they’d met once or twice since Jonas got injured but it was only for a day and they had to split too soon. That’s why Jonas wanted to be back and actually stay this time. But he was planning on visiting Erik one last time before moving back to Dortmund and he was more than excited about it.

There were only two days left until Erik’s 23rd birthday and Jonas wanted to be with him on that special day. He was well aware that Erik could already have some plans for his birthday but he wanted to try it anyway, hoping he’d be able to celebrate with him. He’d have to find time for his best friend who came all the way from Mainz to visit him after all, right?

With that in his mind Jonas dialled Erik’s number and waited for him to pick up the phone.

‘Hi Jonas.’ He heard a familiar voice and couldn’t help but smile.

‘Hey Erik, how have you been?’ Jonas asked

‘Fine I guess, but tell me, how about you? How’s the rehabilitation going? Is everything okay?’

‘It’s going very good, I’m feeling great and can’t wait to be back in training.’

‘I’m happy to hear this.’ Erik said and smiled.

‘Listen, Erik… I wanted to ask you something…’ Jonas decided to do this as quickly as possible.

‘What is it?’

‘It’s your birthday in two days and… I mean you know that of course it’s YOUR birthday after all and I was just thinking… maybe… maybe I could come to Dortmund and celebrate it with you? I’ll be free then you know. But if you already have some plans that’s totally fine, I’ll just…’ Jonas sounded nervous. Much more nervous and desperate than he wanted to sound. Erik must’ve noticed it because he immediately interrupted him.

‘Of course, Jonas. I’d love to spend it with you. We’ll stay at my place and find ourselves something nice to do, if that’s okay?’ Erik said and laughed lightly as he heard Jonas exhale loudly as if he was holding his breath while waiting for Erik’s response.

‘Sure! We’ll do anything you want!’ now he sounded overjoyed. Almost too excited. ‘Can’t wait to see you then! I.. I gotta go now, see you in two days, bye!’ and before Erik could actually respond, Jonas had already hung up.

‘See you.’ Erik said more to himself than to Jonas, who obviously couldn’t hear him.

‘Who were you talking to?’ Julian walked into the room Erik was in and sat on the couch beside him.

‘It was Jonas, he’s coming to Dortmund for my birthday.’

‘Oh really?’ Julian didn’t look very pleased when he heard that.

‘Yeah, you weren’t planning on going out with me anywhere anyway, right?’ Erik asked and looked at Julian inquiringly.

‘No, not at all…’ Julian lied.

***

Jonas had just finshed packing his bag and put it in the back of his car, taking his phone out of his pocket.

_/ I’m leaving now, be there in about 2 hours. Will you be at home then? /_ he texted Erik and not even 2 minutes later came the response

_/ Sure, I’ll be waiting for you. See you soon :) /_ Jonas read the message, then read it again, and again. He smiled and put the phone back into his pocket, getting into the car and driving down the street.

***

Erik was sitting on the couch, switching the TV channels, trying to find himself something to do before Jonas would come. He suddenly heard the doorbell and got up to see who it was.

‘Hey kid, get dressed, we’re leaving!’ Julian shouted into his face and messed up his hair. Erik could smell the alcohol from him, he wasn’t drunk yet, only tipsy, but you could still notice it.

‘Wait, what?’ Erik asked startled.

 ‘Are you deaf? Dude, it’s your birthday, we’re leaving to celebrate! I’ve invited a couple of friends to my place, so what you’re gonna do now is wear something nice and leave with me!’ Julian stumbled into Erik’s flat and went into his bedroom to help him find something to wear.

‘I don’t think I’m gonna do that, Julian, and you know exactly why. Don’t you remember? Jonas called me two days ago, he’s coming to Dortmund and you said you didn’t have anything planned! So I will ask you to leave now and tell them I’m not coming because I have some other plans.’ Erik didn’t want to be rude, but Julian’s behaviour was getting on his nerves.

‘Oh come on, Erik, don’t be silly! You can’t just say no when your closest friends are waiting for you to come! Besides, it will take Jonas some time before he gets here, so you can just come with me at least for an hour, say hi to our friends and just let them wish you a happy birthday! Is it too much to ask for?’ Julian walked up to Erik and looked straight into his eyes ‘Please Erik, it won’t take long. Please.’ Erik had to look away, feeling like he’s slowly giving in even though he really didn’t want to.

Julian knew just to well what to say to make him do what he wants him to do.

‘I don’t know…. I’m not sure…. I promised Jonas I’ll be here waiting for him…’ Erik started, his voice breaking.

‘And you will be. I told you I’m only taking you there for an hour. You’ll be back home before you know it.’

Erik sighed and put his face in his hands.

‘Okay, okay, I’ll go. But **only** for an hour, not more.’ Julian jumped up and pulled Erik into a tight hug.

‘I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me! Come on, let’s find you something nice to wear!’ Julian took Erik’s hand and walked him to his wardrobe, Erik following him reluctantly.

***

After almost 3 hours of driving, Jonas finally arrived in front of Erik’s flat. The ride took him much more time than expected, he was getting more and more frustrated every time he was a traffic in front of him. He wanted to get to Dortmund as quickly as possible and it seems like everything was against him that evening.

He took a deep breath before getting out of the car and walking up the stairs leading to Erik’s flat. He couldn’t believe he’s gonna see him again. The last time he was him was in January, and that was already 4 months ago. He run his hand through his hair and rang the doorbell.

He stood there for a few minutes but nothing happened. Maybe Erik fell asleep? He tried it once more, but again, nobody showed up to open the door. He took out his phone and decided to call Erik, just to make sure he’s fine and in his flat but instead of hearing Erik’s voice he only heard the voicemail. His hands started sweating, his cheeks turned red and he felt an uncomfortable heat running through his body. Did Erik… stand him up?

No, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t do that. Not Erik. Jonas tried to pull himself together, he was hoping Erik was fine, he would never do that to him, would he?

He searched through the numbers in his phone, and dialled Matthias’ number. Maybe he’s with him?

‘Hello?’ Jonas inhaled loudly when he heard Matthias’s voice.

‘Matthias!’ he shouted into the phone

‘Jonas? Is something wrong? Are you okay?’ the younger man sounded worried.

‘No… Yes…. I don’t know.’ Jonas’ thoughts were racing through his mind. ‘Is Erik with you?’

‘No, why would he be with me?’ Matthias asked a bit surprised.

‘It’s just that… we were supposed to meet at his place, we talked about this two days ago, he said he’ll be happy to spend his birthday with me, cause it’s his birthday today in case you forgot, and I’ve been trying to get into the flat but he isn’t there, he’s not answering his phone either and I’m worried something might have happened to him….’ Jonas was practically in tears now, feeling completely helpless.

‘Okay, calm down, Jonas. He’s not with me but I’m sure he’s fine. I’ve heard Julian prepared something for his birthday today, Erik was supposed to meet him and his friends so he’s probably there, you shouldn’t worry about….’

‘What?’ Jonas asked, his fear slowly turning into anger.

‘Didn’t he tell you? I thought you knew Julian organized that meeting for him…’ Matthias asked, regretting he started to talk about it at all.

‘No. He didn’t. Thanks.’ Jonas said bitterly and hung up.

***

As much as Erik didn’t want to go there, he gave in and let Julian take him to his place.

When they arrived, he saw a few of his good friends smiling at him, they were having a lot of fun and the only thing missing was the birthday boy Erik. As they saw him walk into the room, everybody started cheering and singing, people walking up to Erik one by one to hug him and wish him a happy birthday. After greeting every single person in the room, Julian took Erik with him and handed him a bottle of beer.

‘Here, take this. Relax a bit, have some fun!’ Julian smiled at Erik who looked at him puzzled.

‘I can’t. Really. I have to leave soon, remember?’ Erik tried to put away the bottle but Julian didn’t let him.

‘Erik. Don’t worry about it. It’s gonna be fine. I’ll tell you when it’s time to go. And for now, relax.’

Erik didn’t know why, but he believed Julian. He believed that he’ll be a good friend and will let him know when the hour he’s supposed to spend here has passed. He took a sip of his beer and joined his friends outside in the garden. The one beer he got from Julian turned into two, then three, four… Erik had no idea how much he’s had, he only knew he’s having the time of his life. He had no idea what time it was, hell, he didn’t even care about that! He was about to get himself another beer bottle, when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

With some troubles, he took it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. The letters were blurry and he couldn’t see who was calling, but he answered the call anyway.

‘Hello?’ he said, anybody would be able to tell he’s drunk.

‘Why did you do this.’ he heard somebody shouting, he didn’t quite know who it was but after a few seconds he realized he was talking to Jonas. Jonas, who was clearly hurt.

‘I thought I meant something to you but I see I can easily be replaced. You should’ve told me you didn’t want me to come, I would’ve understood.’ Jonas tried not to sound hurt, but he couldn’t hide it anymore. He felt the tears gathering in his eyes and he wiped them away with his hand. ‘I would’ve never thought you’d stand me up like that. You didn’t even tell me you were leaving somewhere and I was stupid enough to think you’ll actually be waiting for me to come.’

Maybe he was overreacting, maybe he shouldn’t react this way, maybe he should take it easy. Maybe. Jonas didn’t care about it now. He was hurt and he had the right to show Erik how disappointed and sad he is. When he heard Erik mumble something he couldn’t even understand, he broke down. The tears he tried to fight back started streaming down his face.

‘But Jonas, I…’ Erik was struggling to form a sentence, not because of the amount of alcohol he’s had, but he was at a loss for words now, completely forgetting about how drunk he is, he immediately sobered up when he heard Jonas cry.

‘No, don’t. Don’t say anything. I’m going home and I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Don’t try to call me, don’t try to apologize. Just don’t do anything. Go and have fun, I hope it was worth it.’ Jonas took a deep breath and calmed down a bit. ‘ Oh, and one more thing. Happy birthday, Erik.’ He snapped and hung up leaving Erik speechless.


	2. don't make promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONG TIME NO SEE, HUH?  
> i am well..... incredibly sorry this took me almost 2 months to post. it was actually almost done those 2 months ago but then i.... kindaforgotaboutitandthenhadnomotivationtofinishitandpostit. i messed up, and am so sorry for keeping you waiting for so long, not gonna lie, it was tempting to wait a few more days just so it could be a 'two months' anniversary from posting the first part, but as you can see, i didn't go with that idea. i know i should've posted it the next day after i posted the first one yes that's totally my fault but now let's forget about it and focus on the thing.

Erik was in a complete astonishment, slowly starting to realize what just happened. It’s like everything around him has suddenly stopped moving, he couldn’t hear his friends talking to him anymore, he stood there paralyzed, he’s never felt so helpless _. „I thought I meant something to you”_ Jonas’  voice was ringing in his hears, driving him insane. What has he done?

‘Erik, Erik!’ he heard Julian shouting, trying to get his attention. ‘Are you fine? What’s wrong?’

Julian tried to take Erik’s hand but Erik immediately pushed him away. ‘Leave me alone.’ he snapped ‘I wanna go home now.’

Julian looked at Erik trying to understand this sudden change of his mood. ‘Why? What happened?’

‘That’s none of your business. Besides, it’s all your fault.’ Erik looked at Julian furiously.

‘My fault? What are you talking about? Who were you talking to?’ Julian was even more confused than before.

‘Jonas.’ was all Erik could say.

‘Oh…right’ Julian felt guilty but it only lasted for a second before he raised his voice ‘How is it my fault then? It was you who agreed to come with me after all…’

Maybe it was because of the amount of alcohol Erik’s had or maybe because of the anger he’d started to feel, Erik pushed Julian away and it took all the self-control he had in him not to do anything else to him.

‘Well you shouldn’t have asked me to go with you then! You know how much my friends mean to me and you know I wouldn’t want to let them down! And you knew Jonas was coming to visit me, you knew this and you told me you weren’t planning anything anyway, then you suddenly show up at my door and tell me to get ready because I have to leave with you. You fucking told me you’d let me know when I should go back home and I feel like you haven’t even thought about doing it once. You did this on purpose, you knew I wouldn’t be able to say no to you and you used it.’ Erik was breathing heavily, he had to lean against the wall because everything around him was spinning.

‘You should finally learn how to say ‘no’ to somebody, then.’ Julian said rudely and walked away.

If Erik could stand on his feet without feeling dizzy and if he really was the aggressive type he’d go and punch Julian in the face without a doubt. He felt too tired and weak to do anything so instead of following Julian, he turned around and started walking towards the door.

He doesn’t know how he got back to his apartment, he didn’t even care. As soon as he opened the door and stumbled into is flat, he only wanted to go to bed. He was hoping to wake up in the morning with all of this being just a terrible nightmare. He reached his bed, didn’t even try to take off his clothes and fell asleep immediately.

***

Jonas didn’t want to stay in Dortmund any longer. He wanted to be far away from everything. From Erik. As soon as he ended the call he rushed down the stairs, got into his car and drove back to Mainz. He doesn’t know how much time it took him this time, he tried to forget about what just happened but he couldn’t. The images of Erik being around his friends having fun, not even thinking about him wouldn’t leave his head. Erik really sounded happy when he told him he’d love to spend this day with him. Was he lying to him? Jonas tried to get these thoughts out of his head but those were the only ones there and he couldn’t seem to focus on anything else. When he arrived he quickly changed his clothes and went to sleep, he was exhausted, his head hurt from all the crying and all he wanted was to fall asleep. If only he could get rid of the thoughts in his head…

He tried to sleep, but he couldn’t, he kept getting up, to get some water, to just walk around the room for no reason. He was so exhausted and felt so helpless and Erik was probably having the time of his life and Jonas wasn’t on his mind even for a second.  He eventually fell asleep with tears streaming down his cheeks again.

***

When Erik woke up he immediately regretted drinking anything on that party yesterday. He felt dizzy, nauseous and had a terrible headache. One of the worst hangovers of his life, not only because of the alcohol he’s had. He knew just too well what happened yesterday night.

He can still hear Jonas’ voice and the sound of him crying. How could he make him cry, he hates to see Jonas cry. And now he’s the reason he was upset. Will Jonas even forgive him? He said he didn’t want Erik to apologize or to talk to him. Erik didn’t quite know what to do yet, the only thing he knew was that he has to make it up to Jonas somehow. He’s willing to do anything for Jonas to forgive him. Anything.

He didn’t even hesitate, he already knew what he has to do. He has to go to Mainz. He has to talk to him. Explain what happened, even if he’s the one to blame and really has nothing to say for himself.

Only after getting up and having to sit down again because of the sudden dizziness he felt, he realized he cannot drive. He still had too much alcohol in his blood to even think about driving a car.

There was no other way but to take a train then.

***

The travel was much worse than Erik expected. The train was crowded, it was extremely hot inside which made Erik feel even worse than before. He nearly passed out sitting there, trying to calm down, telling himself he’s doing it all for Jonas and that he deserved it after hurting him.  After what felt like an eternity he could finally get out of the train to catch some fresh air.

He had no idea what he’s gonna tell Jonas, how should he explain himself. He didn’t even know if Jonas was home, he hadn’t thought about calling him and asking if he’s gonna be home because he was sure Jonas wouldn’t answer his call anyway. He hoped to find him in his apartment, but even if he wouldn’t be there, he’d wait for him. He took a taxi and soon he arrived in front of Jonas’ flat.

When he got out he felt his knees go weak and had to take a few deep breaths. His hands were sweating and he tried to think about what he’ll say to him. He knew he did wrong. He knew it was his fault, even if he also blamed Julian for this.

But Julian won’t help him, he has to fix this himself.

***

Jonas was still half-asleep when he heard the doorbell. He wasn’t expecting anybody but was curious to see who it was. He opened the door and when he saw Erik he tried to shut it again but Erik didn’t let him.

‘Go away, I don’t want to talk to you.’ Jonas said hoping Erik would listen to him.

‘No way, I’m not going anywhere, I need to talk to you. Listen I’m sorry…’

‘I don’t care. I told you I don’t want to see you. So leave me alone.’ And with that said, Jonas managed to close the door leaving Erik behind it.

‘Fine.’ Erik said loud enough for Jonas to hear him through the door. ‘But I’m not giving up. I’m gonna wait here until you decide to let me in.’

He didn’t hear any response coming from Jonas so he sat down on the floor at Jonas’ door and waited. He was sitting like this for half an hour when he suddenly heard the door open.

‘God, you’re still here?’ Jonas looked down at Erik ‘You’re so stubborn, do you know that? It’s ridiculous what you’re doing’ Jonas said and Erik smiled.

‘I shouldn’t be doing this, but I guess you won’t leave me alone, will you? Come on, get up. I’ll let you tell me what you want to tell me so you could finally go home.’

Erik reached out his hand to Jonas hoping he’d help him get up, but Jonas just looked at him and turned around leaving the door open for him. The defender got up from the floor and entered the flat.

He saw Jonas sitting on the couch, waiting for him to start talking.

‘And? What do you want to tell me?’ Jonas asked, Erik could tell he didn’t get much sleep at night, he looked tired. _‘and that’s all because of you’_ a voice in Erik’s head whispered to him.

‘I… can I sit down next to you?’ Jonas was a bit surprised but nodded.

Erik sat down next to Jonas, keeping a safe distance between them.

‘I’m sorry. I’m terribly sorry.’ Erik started and waited for Jonas reaction, but the younger one didn’t say anything, he was just looking at Erik waiting for him to continue.

‘I know what I did was stupid and unfair and I should’ve never agreed to go out with Julian then. Not even when he told me I’d be back in an hour. I should’ve been more consistent. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I know I did. I wasn’t even planning on doing it, it just all happened so fast and I was stupid enough to believe Julian. You know how hard it is for me to say no to people, especially people I care about. I know nothing is fine now and you have the right to throw me out of your flat now if you want to, because I deserve it. You don’t have to forgive me. I just wish you’d forgive me.’ Erik moved a bit closer to Jonas who had to look away, feeling the tears coming back again.

‘You hurt me. You really did. I thought you don’t care about me anymore, that you found yourself some other friends and you don’t need me. I really wanted to make this day special for you and you agreed to meet me and then you weren’t there. You told me you’d be waiting for me and found yourself something better to do instead. And you sounded so happy, happier than you’d ever be spending this day with me and I just didn’t know what to do, you let me down, I’ve spent so much time driving only to see you weren’t even there.’ His eyes were burning now and his hands started shaking, he tried to get up and leave the room but Erik took his hand and made him sit back again.

‘I know what I did. And I wish I could undo it. I wish I didn’t make you feel bad. I know that me saying that I’m sorry won’t make it better. It happened and I can’t help it. I just want you to know I regret it. I never want to make you sad and yet I did this.’ He paused and put his hand on Jonas’ shoulder.

‘I’m sorry. You’re my best friend, Jonas. I could never ever replace you. You mean everything to me and I can’t imagine you not talking to me anymore. Please forgive me. Please.’ he said looking at Jonas who couldn’t hold back anymore.

He put his arms around Erik, hugging him tightly. His whole body was shaking and Jonas couldn’t control it, crying into Erik’s shoulder.

Erik started stroking his back, trying to calm him down, his t-shirt getting wet from Jonas’ tears.

‘I’m sorry. So so sorry.’ he whispered. ‘I promise I’ll never do anything like this to you again.’

‘D-Don’t’ Erik heard Jonas’ silent voice.

‘What?’

‘Don’t promise me anything.’ Jonas straightened his back, wiped off the tears from his cheeks and took a few deep breaths. ‘I don’t want you to promise me you won’t do something now and then do it again. You never know what happens, so please, don’t say you promise you won’t do this again’. Jonas’ eyes were red from crying, but he seemed to have calmed down a bit.

It took a few seconds for Erik before he spoke again.

‘Okay then;’ he started, taking Jonas’ hands in his and locking their fingers together. ‘I’m sorry for what happened. If you don’t want me to make promises, I won’t. But I can assure you I will try my best to never ever make the same mistake again. But you have to forgive me first. Can you do that, Jonas? Can you forgive me?”

Jonas didn’t say anything. He didn’t move either so Erik was just patiently waiting for him to speak up. He could see it wasn’t easy for Jonas, at all. His eyes were fixed on something on the floor, avoiding Erik’s gaze.

The silence soon became unbearable for Erik, who took it as a ‘no’ and was about to get up and leave, when suddenly Jonas pulled him in for a hug again, trying to keep him in place.

‘Don’t leave, please.’ the whisper was almost impossible to hear.

‘Do you forgive me then?’ Erik asked, even though he wasn’t even hoping for an answer anymore.

And he didn’t get one. Instead of an answer, he felt Jonas’ soft, warm lips on his own, dry lips. Erik closed his eyes and didn’t even realize when Jonas’ lips were gone from his again, leaving a salty taste of Jonas’ tears on his lips.

He opened his eyes to see Jonas smiling at him. He couldn’t do anything else but to smile back at him, reaching out his hand to stroke Jonas’ cheek.

‘Of course I forgive you.’ Jonas said quietly closing his eyes, enjoying Erik’s light touch.

Erik let out a sigh of relief. He doesn’t even know what would he do, if Jonas said no.

‘Can you do something for me?’ Jonas asked, getting up from the couch.

‘What is it?’

‘Can you stay the night? It’d be nice to finally not sleep alone.’ 

‘I’d love to. You know I’d do anything for you.’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope it's not as bad as i think it is, and just like Jonas could forgive Erik, i hope you can forgive me, too :)


End file.
